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What’s the Difference Between Healthy Nice Guys vs Unhealthy Nice Guys?

The distinction between healthy nice guys vs unhealthy nice guys can be summarized by Tony’s comment on my Why Nice Guys Get Rejected video.

But before we get to Tony’s comment…

A lot of dating coaches say stop being a nice guy because we’ve all heard the saying “nice guys finish last.”

However, if you are a nice guy this advice can be very confusing.

You think you have to suddenly start acting like an asshole.

But this isn’t totally right.

See, there are two types of nice guys: healthy nice guys and unhealthy nice guys.

Unhealthy nice guys really do finish last.

And if this is you, then you need to watch until the end of this video.

But the healthy nice guys win.

So keep reading to find out which one you are and if you are the unhealthy type, I’ll let you know what to do about it.

You can be a healthy nice guy and have all the success you’re looking for with women.

Tony says:

I note you’re trying to clarify the distinction between healthy or good and unhealthy or bad forms of “Nice Guys.”

I would like to add something I see as significant in this.

To me, a key distinction is:

• Unhealthy nice guys seek EXTERNAL validation, attention, return.
• Healthy nice guys seek INTERNAL validation, attention, return.

I am a subscriber to your WakeUp2Luv program and have gone through it once.

It awakened an awful lot of intensely painful memories from infancy onward.

AJ side note:

If in your childhood you experienced abandonment and/or abuse at the hands of trusted adult women, my program will stir up some stuff to clear out.

Abandonment can be neglect or not being around or only having one parent whether because of death or divorce etc.

And abuse can be physical or emotional, which is often more difficult to resolve because there are no obvert scars.

Tony continues…

I have clarity for the first time.

Just wish I were young when I got this.

My approach has been to focus internally, introspection.

Now, I am seeing value in the psychological babble [WakeUP2Luv]—the modules do have value and provide a theoretical framework I find useful [and] I plan to go through your WakeUP2Luv program again.

AJ side note:

It’s a one time purchase and then you can access it anywhere you have wifi anytime for as long as I’m Your Wingmam plus 5 years if I should kick it (the cost of keeping this program alive for you outlives me by 5 years).

Back to Tony

I am digesting all of it—it takes time.

I am going through moments of feeling great and positive alternating with private rages and outbursts—though not publicly.

It seems I need to vent.

You are correct—it is painful as hell.

AJ side note

Tony also mentions questioning if “it’s” worth it. Love. Life.

Maybe you can relate.

Or maybe you know someone who does. Any fathers thinking of their sons out there? Or even sons thinking of their fathers?

My WakeUP2Luv program is not for those with major clinical depression or if you’re considering joining the good Lord above as it may trigger emotions you won’t want to deal with alone.

Please, reach out to a trusted friend, family member or crisis support line if you’re feeling depressed (or worse).

I am working on finding an appropriate coach to help WakeUP2Luv program participants who need some extra support.

If I could clone myself, it would be me, but as many of you know, I have health issues that prevent me from doing everything I’d like to.

I must take care of me first so I have the energy to continue producing videos for the many who need them.

I am, however, available to answer questions about the program as you go through it.

My reply to Tony:

I’m glad you didn’t “exit, stage left.”

And an excellent distinction on [healthy nice guys vs unhealthy nice guys]. Thank you for that!

The distinction is exactly right with healthy nice guys needing internal validation vs unhealthy nice guys needing external validation.

Many men have had traumatic experiences in childhood and struggle in adult relationships because of it.

I’m glad you’re working through it and I’m glad my WakeUP2Luv program provided the framework for helping with that.

If you keep setting new goals and doing the recommended exercises in my program you may one day look back on your past without pain, and maybe even with compassion.

I speak from firsthand experience. (Read my memoir if you’re curious about my trauma story.)

God’s got your back, you will be ok. One step at a time.

Lots of love and prayers to Tony and all of you who struggle to find the light in this life.

My heart goes out to you.

I pray for you to find emotional healing and to find a special person who’ll give you all the love, encouragement, affection, appreciation and attention you deserve but didn’t receive in childhood or as an adult.

God bless all of you and if you’d like to be a healthy nice guy vs an unhealthy nice guy and you’re ready for change check out my WakeUP2Luv program.

Are YOU Ready to WakeUP2Luv?

WakeUP2Luv has actionable homework both emotionally at home and physically in the real world that will help you become a self-validating nice guy.

I know you don’t want to do the emotional part but it’s the cornerstone to seeing real change.

You need to change at an emotional level to experience real transformation.

You attract the type of women you feel worthy of.

This is why pick up techniques don’t work. They just focus on surface level stuff.

In WakeUp2Luv you’ll go deep. (There’s a naughty joke in this one but I’ll refrain!)

If you do the work, you’ll actually feel good enough for the women you want, so you’ll be able to attract them.

Your self worth will come across in the way you talk, act and even the way you look at women.

They’ll sense you’re a healthy nice guy and will feel drawn to you.

This is what WakeUp2Luv will do for you if you do the work.

So, you’ll finally be ready and able to find, attract and keep a keeper.

And, of course, if you don’t like it for any reason within 60 days, you can get a refund.

For those who’ve asked, yes, I do have a WakeUP2Luv program for women, as well. Some components are similar but it is specifically for women.

If you know someone, maybe a daughter, sister or mother, who longs for love but hasn’t been successful, here’s the link for that program.

Share if you care.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

If you keep thinking and doing the same things, you’ll keep getting the same results.

If you don’t want to be in the same place next year or in 5 or 10 years, then do yourself a favour and get my WakeUP2Luv program today.

It’s not easy and there is a focus on increasing self-esteem, but if you do the work it’s worth it.

And if you get stuck or need clarification, I’m with you every step of the way.

You got this!

xo Anna