Couples Therapists, Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian, speak about how porn damages relationships, and what you can do if there’s porn addiction.
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Listen to a fascinating discussion about how porn damages relationships with power couple, Dr. Ray and Jean Kadkhodaian, cofounders of a counseling center in the Chicago area. Their unique approach to helping couples have amazing relationships is called Couples Synergy. Both have Master’s degrees in Clinical Psychology, and Dr. Ray has an additional doctorate in Clinical Psychology. They are also Co-Hosts of their own podcast called, Couples Synergy: Real Couples, Real Stories.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- The most adverse effects of porn on long term relationships
- The effect of unrealistic expectations for sex
- How porn affects our body image
- How committed partners can incorporate porn into their relationship in a healthy way
- The first step to take if you’re in partnership with someone who’s addicted to porn
How Porn Damages Relationships
What are the most adverse effects of porn on long term relationships?
Porn unrealistically represents sex. One person, often the husband, usually gets so addicted to porn, they’re no longer interested in having sex with their wife. Over time, the relationship often ends.
Porn is so accessible now, it’s permeated into our lives. It’s impacting all of us. Twenty six percent of six-year-olds are being exposed to porn accidentally. Over time, we all numb out to sex and porn.
What about the unrealistic physical expectations in porn?
In terms of a woman’s body insecurity, when we compare ourselves to women’s bodies in porn, it makes us feel bad about our bodies.
Sex is often associated with shame. When we have supermodels displaying sexual acts coupled with people who have shame about their bodies, it amplifies the shame they already have. Eventually, you become disconnected from your partner.
How does porn affect the dating process?
Porn is affecting courtship. We have unrealistic ways of finding a mate. People don’t know how to bridge the gap between wanting porn-type of sex and sexting, to actually find love.
Men who view porn a lot often are depressed. Their relationships fail. Couples heal their wounds when we come together. In porn, there’s more and more damage.
Can committed partners involve porn into their sexual lives in a healthy way?
Yes, many couples do incorporate porn into their sex lives. It’s all about degrees. You can reach a point of intimacy with a lot of work. The most intimate act is going to take connection, evolution and vulnerability.
If there’s porn addiction in a relationship, what’s the first step a couple can take to create more intimacy?
Talk about it with each other. When we’re in pain, we seek comfort through food, alcohol, porn. We have to sit in our pain a bit to get to feeling joy. If you feel shame about something, it’s probably not the truth…it’s your truth someone told you not to feel. Listen to your gut and find the truth that’s there.
Watch the video here
Fightthenewdrug.org is an excellence resource for porn addiction.
The Truth About Men: New York Times bestselling author and Hollywood producer DeVon Franklin speaks out frankly and openly about why men behave the way they do and what everyone—men and women alike—need to know about it.
Connect with Dr. Ray and Jean here.
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