How do you navigate post-pandemic dating? Dr. Sheva Assar, clinical psychologist, shares practical tips and exercises for dating success.
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Clinical Psychologist Dr. Sheva Assar specializes in supporting others by improving their confidence and experiences with dating, relationships, and life. She has a passion for advancing conversations around mental health, especially for young women, and sharing the tools necessary to not just get through life, but to thrive.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
-The challenges of post-pandemic dating
-How to successfully date again after the pandemic
-How to increase self-confidence in dating
-The importance of setting and enforcing personal boundaries
-How to date with intention
Navigating Post-Pandemic Dating
What are some of the challenges of post-pandemic dating?
The one thing that’s come up in my practice is there’s more anxiety. There’s anxiety around safety and social anxiety, too. Our skill set has gotten rusty. We’re more comfortable connecting virtually, though.
What are some tips for successfully getting back out there after the pandemic restrictions have lifted?
Be compassionate with yourself. Recognize that this may take some time to feel comfortable. Ask yourself what feels comfortable for you. If you only feel comfortable on an outdoor date, that’s okay. Don’t pressure yourself. Gradually build upon your comfort zone.
Be clear on what you want. Before the pandemic, many people dated without clarity. What do you expect of yourself and a partner? Communicate what you want and need.
How someone responds to your limits is so important. It’s great information.
How can people increase self-confidence in dating?
Our relationship with ourselves is so important. To improve self confidence, dedicate time to yourself each day; emotionally, physically, spiritually. When we take care of ourselves, we feel better.
It’s also important to stop the self-beat up. How do you speak to yourself? We tend to be so self-critical, in a way we would never speak to others. How can you distance yourself from your thoughts and see they’re not facts?
If you had a bad first date or said or did the wrong thing…Ask yourself what you’d say to your best friend if they did the same thing? Identify what else happened during the date. This way you’ll be more objective.
Another exercise for self-critical thoughts when things don’t go well. Ask yourself, “Is this a thought that’s a result of the situation I’m in right now?” or “Is this a pattern of mine?” Recognize the difference, and if it’s a pattern, it’s probably not true.
Also, focus on what went well on the date, not just what didn’t work well.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Be the person you’re wanting to date. Embody the values you’re looking for. Be more of YOU. Focus less on what others want of you, and be more authentically you, because that’s how you’ll see if there’s a true connection. Ask yourself what are your negotiables and non negotiables. Then go through the list again, and ask yourself in ten years, are these the things you definitely need to have. Or would you be okay without those things?
If you were at the end of your life, what would be the ways you’d describe yourself? Be that person now and live up to that.
Ask your friends what they love about you. Those are the things you want to continue to bring to the world.
Connect with Dr. Sheva: Website https://www.drshevaassar.com/ Instagram @drsheva
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