Togetherness is a great feeling for any living person on the earth. When you have someone to share your thoughts, happiness, and sadness with, you are leading the best life possible.
That’s the reason everyone looks for love and a romantic relationship to have a fulfilled life. Having a partner by your side makes you feel all the more special and adds meaning to your life.
But often, we find it hard to keep a healthy relationship with our partners. “It’s not working out between us”, “We need to rethink our relationship”, etc., are some of the thoughts that start crawling into our minds.
The reasons may be many. You might feel betrayed, unloved, unimportant, or simply bored. Whatever it is, your relationship ends up lacking the mojo that was there when you started dating that girl.
And now, all you ask yourself is “should I break up with my girlfriend”? If you are in a similar situation and looking for reasons and answers, then this article is exactly what you need.
Here, I’ll help you look at things in a neutral and unbiased way so that your decision-making hour turns out a bit less complicated. Read on to find out the signs about whether or not you should break up and move on with your life or it’s just a phase.
💔 Here are the 18 Major signs to Answer- “Should I break up with my girlfriend?” 💔
1. Your relationship is growing fast
If you have just entered a relationship and are getting too close within just a few days, pay attention. It might be too early to get involved this much with her.
Before getting intimate and emotionally attached, ask yourself if you know her enough to do all these things. If things move too fast in a relationship, it doesn’t last long.
2. She doesn’t allow you space
Observe if she is too clingy. Look at the symptoms like, if she asks you too many questions about your personal life.
If she gets too much into your personal space, then it’s not a healthy relationship. It is one of the clear signs that you need to walk out of this relationship.
3. She is manipulative
Is she trying to impose her ideas on you all the time? She is perhaps manipulating your thoughts from under a veil of innocence.
Often, such manipulative natures are pretty subtle and you barely understand it while in a relationship.
But if you look at things from a more unbiased point, you’ll observe how she is making you do things she only wants.
4. You are not enjoying intimate moments with her
Getting intimate is a whole different ballgame. Apparently, you might like a girl and enjoy spending time with her more often.
But if she wants to have intimate moments with you and you don’t feel the same way, then getting intimate with her might disturb you. It’s better to leave her.
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If you two are in a relationship and she never shares her secrets with you, then there is a problem. It means, she doesn’t trust you enough, or she is not emotionally connected with you.
This reason is enough for you to rethink your decision to continue the relationship with her.
6. You two are not great friends
The primary attribute for a great relationship is a great friendship. Partners need to be good friends with each other in order to make the relationship work.
If you two are not great friends in the first place, then you are lacking the bonding that is required for two people to stay together. Therefore, it’s high time that you should break up with her.
7. She puts you down every time
Respecting the other partner is crucial in a relationship. If your girlfriend puts you down all the time and in front of everyone, then consider breaking up with her as soon as possible.
It’s completely wrong if she cannot respect you as her partner. It’s miserable on your part to endure such toxic behavior of the person that you love.
8. She is too busy
It’s understandable if someone cannot make ample time to catch up with you in these times when everyone is busy with jobs and careers. But if she loves you, she’ll take out at least some amount of time to catch up with you.
If she is too busy and her unavailability is making you feel lonely, then there lies your answer. It’s perhaps time to walk out of that relationship. However, it’s also not fine if you keep asking for attention all the time.
9. You have feelings for someone else
This is one point when you need to take that tough decision because the real conflict is in your mind. If you have developed feelings for other women, then you should move out of the relationship else it’ll be cheating.
In life, we often look for other relationships due to boredom or simply for our own happiness. It is also possible that you have found some other person attractive so much that you want to end the relationship that’s existing.
10. She is a self-obsessed person
This is another prominent sign that you must take note of while in love with someone.
If she keeps talking about herself all the time and hardly pays heed to your problems and opinions, then she is clearly a self-obsessed person.
These people can only love themselves and nobody else. She will hardly give you any attention when it comes to making choices in the relationship. Such a girl is not worth loving.
11. You are indifferent to her
Sometimes you are over with the girl you love. You don’t feel triggered or moved by her actions and gestures. You don’t even find her important enough in your life anymore.
Maybe she cannot fulfill your needs as a partner. In such cases, you should walk out of the relationship and help her get over you as well.
12. You both don’t care about emotional vulnerabilities
Both you and your partner have individual emotional vulnerabilities and they show up while you two are involved in arguments.
It’s ok to be a bit rude during an argument. But hurting the other person by pinpointing the vulnerable areas is wrong.
If you both don’t care about the emotional vulnerabilities of each other, then it’s a prominent signal for you to break up with her.
13. She is over-possessive
Often enough, women become over-possessive when they are deeply in love. If you are with someone who has a similar mindset, then it’s time to reconsider your decision.
When one person is too possessive in a relationship, it becomes suffocative for the other person to stay. In such a difficult situation, you should look at your emotional health and move out of the relationship.
14. You are extremely casual
You cannot stay in a long-term serious relationship if you are extremely casual by nature. Love comes with commitments and assurance of being together forever.
If one person is not committed to the promises, the other person will suffer the consequences in the long run. Therefore, if you are casual in the relationship, leave.
15. She is moving out of the country
Out of sight means out of mind. Love will fade away with time if two people move far from each other physically. If your partner is planning to move away from the country then it’s a sign of future fallout.
Maintaining a love relationship is far more challenging when your better half stays kilometers away from you in a distant land.
16. Her priorities are different
Everyone has a list of his/her priorities. In love relationships, lovers should be on each
other’s priority lists. If you don’t belong to the list of the priorities of your girlfriend, you know the answer already.
Canceling plans last minute, coming up with work-related excuses, too many busy schedules, etc., are some prominent signals to make you realize that you are hardly her priority.
17. She is not here for long-term association
Maybe you are planning for a life-long togetherness with this girl, but she is not on the same page with you. Maybe she doesn’t date you with the same intentions. In such cases, your love becomes useless because she is not here for a long-term association.
If she is not as serious in this relationship as you are, she might leave you at any point in life. So, it’s better to take a stand before it’s too late.
18. You are emotionally damaged
You might not feel happy in a relationship. It doesn’t always have to be the fault of your partner. Maybe the idea of relationships freaks you out.
Being with her damages you emotionally. You might not be able to match her vibes, ideas, or interests. These are clear calls that you need to end this relationship.
🤗 Signs You Should Not Break Up 🤗
When a relationship goes through turmoil, it goes through phases of uncertainty, doubts, and rethink processes before the final moment of departure arrives.
During such moments of doubt, you might observe certain signs that might tell you that you should not break up with her.
❣️ You still have feelings for her
Often we are almost in the position of making the parting decision, yet we cannot avoid thinking about the other person.
If you are constantly reminding her in every action of yours, then perhaps you are not yet over her. You still hold some feelings for her.
In such cases, you should try to resolve the problems instead of breaking up.
❣️She stands by you
No matter what bad times you two are going through, if she loves you she’ll stand by you at your worst. If you are with someone who you know will stand by you even if your relationship doesn’t work out, that’s a huge sign. You should never ever leave such a person.
Maybe you two are dealing with emotional hardships and on the verge of breaking up.
But if you would still want to share all your good, bad, and ugly secrets with her, that means she is still at the top of your priority list.
So what if you had a fight? It’s never too late to say sorry.
❣️ You miss her presence
You still want her by your side as it has always been before the fight. Now that you two are not on talking terms, you miss her presence. If this is the scenario with you, then you should rethink your decision of breaking up with her.
❣️ She is regretting her mistakes
If you had a fallout because of her misbehavior, then you perhaps should give her another chance when she admits her mistake and regrets that. However, it depends on how grave the mistake was.
If she was cheating on you, then you can leave her because it might happen again and you deserve honesty.
🚩 What are red flags in a relationship? 🚩
It can happen that you are in a bad relationship and you don’t know exactly what is wrong.
Sometimes, we also live in denial and don’t want to look at the toxic sides of it. But the suffering has to end somewhere.
So, here are some alarming signals in a relationship that will help you put things into perspective and make it easy for you to take the decision.
🚩 Abusive behaviors
You are in a doomed relationship if you suffer verbal and physical abuse from your partner.
No matter how much you keep denying, if your partner is abusive towards you, it’s time to break up with her.
Else, you will end up in mental traumas and emotionally damage yourself.
🚩 Not understanding each other
Another red signal in relationships is if you and your partner don’t seem to understand each other properly.
If you are not fine with her being career-oriented or she doesn’t find your idea of simple living, then you two are not going to stay together for long.
🚩 Covering up the mistakes of the other partner
When you are in an obsessive relationship, you tend to unsee the mistakes of the other one.
If she is treating you badly and you are not addressing the problem, then clearly it will affect the relationship in the long run.
If you don’t have the freedom to criticize your partner, then it’s not love.
One of the most prominent alarming situations in a love relationship is infidelity. It means one of the lovers is secretly having romantic relationships with other people.
If you find out that your lover is involved with others behind your back, it’s a tight slap on your self-esteem and feelings. Hence, it is surely a red flag.
🚩 Lack of trust
Relationships without trust are like a house of cards. It will fall off even with a small gust. If you two cannot trust each other and keep sneaking into each other’s phones and personal spaces to find out if everything is fine, it is a huge red flag in your relationship.
🚩 Constant fights
Fights are an inevitable part of relationships. But there is a limit to everything. If you two keep fighting all the time, that too over silly issues, then it’s a problem.
And if your fights turn into verbal abuse or physical abuse, then it’s time to part ways.
🚩 Fake happiness
Fake happiness is one prominent red signal for you to end your current relationship. You pretend in front of the world that you two are quite happy as a couple or a family, but when it’s just the two of you, things are not that happy and smooth. Then you should end things between you two.
👉 What to do if you feel like breaking up with your girlfriend? 👈
You might arrive at a situation when you simply want the relationship to end. Well, it’s not as easy as you thought.
You need to move ahead tactically and make the other partner understand the drawbacks instead of just ending it one fine morning.
☝️ Talk to her
If you feel like breaking up with your girlfriend, talk to her about it. Consider her point of view and if possible, try to resolve the problem between you two.
Or, if you are determined that you’ll move out anyway, make her understand the issue and give valid reasons instead of suddenly disappearing.
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☝️ Give your relationship some time
If you are on the verge of ending a relationship, think again before finally breaking up. What if you are hurrying? What if you are taking the decision out of anger and will regret it later?
Hence, it’s wise to give yourself and the relationship some time. You must give it at least a couple of weeks to see if you feel the same or your mind is changing.
Try to find out what you have done before calling it off finally. You need to invest some time to retrospect and understand your mistakes. Analyze them from an unbiased angle and then evaluate the perceptive of the other one as well.
☝️ Remember the fond memories
Often remembering the best memories with your partner will sort things out.
If you two have a family, you can think about the good times spent together. If those memories still bring joy to your heart then you should give this relationship another chance.
☝️ End your relationship
If nothing works for you, then simply end the relationship and move on. It is the ultimate move that should come after a lot of thinking and analyzing. However, it doesn’t entirely depend on one partner.
☣️ What is a toxic relationship? ☣️
A toxic relationship is one where one partner gets emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically damaged and hurt by the behavior of the other partner.
Such relationships can potentially lower your self-esteem, confidence, and physical energy. Here are some checkpoints to decode toxic relationships.
💣 Manipulative partner
Emotional manipulation is massively toxic behavior that can damage a person entirely. A manipulative partner can make you do what they want and they do it in a way to never understand the damage.
💣 She is using you
If she is using you like a tissue paper to wipe off her emotional weaknesses, you are in a toxic love. She is using you for her own emotional needs without giving importance to what you think.
💣 She is over-dependent on you
Love comes with a sense of emotional dependence. It’s human nature.
But there is a threshold after which dependence becomes toxic for the other person. Such over-dependence can ruin healthy relationships.
🔆 Breaking up with someone who refuses to break up
➤ Let elders interfere
If you want to leave a relationship and the other person refuses, then one effective way is to involve your close friends or elders in the family. Interference of them can ease the process.
➤Consult relationship advisor
If you are not in a fulfilling relationship and want to walk out of it, take the suggestions of a relationship expert about how to break up without making a mess.
You can also suggest a licensed therapist to your partner. John Gottman is a prominent relationship advisor that you can refer to.
➤ Avoid her subtly
If your partner is refusing to break up, avoid her subtly. Try not to spend time with her. Gradually cut off contacts and close the possible ways she can contact you.
🤔 Should I break up with the woman I love? 🤔
In short, the answer is no. You should not break up with her if you love her. But there are situations and factors that might tell you otherwise.
If you are in a one-sided relationship, that’s a clear sign for you to come out of it. Similarly, if you landed with deal-breakers, or with someone who cheated on you, then also you should leave despite you love her.
If your love is genuine and she equally loves you, then no matter how many relationship problems you go through, you should come back to her.
💡 Conclusion 💡
These are the prominent signs and checkpoints you need to observe if you are in doubt about women and relationships. If things don’t work between two partners, then breaking up is the only way to lead individual happy lives.
🖌 Relevant Questions 🖌
Q: How long should I wait to break up with my girlfriend?
A: If you are in the early days, you should wait for the right sign. If you two are together for a long time, then give her another chance to rectify her mistakes.
Q: Will I regret ending my relationship?
A: If you are not in a happy relationship you will not regret ending it. You can feel a certain void in your heart for a few days, but eventually, that will also diminish.
Q: What month do couples break up?
A: According to researchers, December is the month when the majority of the breakups take place.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.