What do you do when your ex wants you back? It depends. Here’s what you need to think about before saying yes to your ex.
When your ex wants you back, it’s easy to fall back into his arms. He might say he’s sorry, he can’t stop thinking about you, he’s changed, or he feels bad he hurt you. Do you believe him, remembering only the good times you had, and how much you loved each other?
Do you open your heart and body to this man once again? In this video, you’ll learn what to consider before letting your ex back into your heart again, or closing the door for good.
What to Do When Your Ex Wants You Back
If your ex wants you back, make sure you’ve taken time to process what YOU want and need before texting, talking, or meeting him in person. Tell him you need time to think about it, and you’ll get back to him when you’re ready.
You have every right to take as long as you need before giving him an answer.
If he’s not happy that you need time, and he pushes you to respond more quickly, he’s a boundary pusher, and he’s not respecting your needs. That in itself is a huge red flag, a clue that getting back with him is a bad idea.
Here’s what to keep in mind if your ex wants you back:
Why did you break up? Think about the reason you broke up. Then, ask yourself, “Has the reason we broke up changed?” If nothing changed, nothing will change. It takes time, commitment, and inner work to make changes. Remember, you broke up for a reason. You need to determine whether they’ve actually made those changes, or whether he’s just horny or lonely, and making empty promises to get you back.
Who is he NOW? Did he make any real changes? Get really curious about this. Ask a lot of questions to find out what he’s done to work on himself. You don’t want to get back into an unhealthy relationship that was toxic to you. Know what you need in a relationship, and stand firmly in those standards.
What are you ignoring? Are you ignoring yellow and red flags, because you’re so excited he wants you back? Or, are you communicating clearly and upholding your boundaries? Are you believing his words, or are you observing and asking questions?
Why would you want him back? Most of the time, we want our ex back because we’re afraid. Afraid to be alone, afraid there won’t be a love like this again. If you have any abandonment issues from past relationships, your self-esteem probably took a big hit. That’s why so many of us take our exes back when the relationship is doomed from the start. So, ask yourself why you want him back. Is it out of fear or based in love for a man who has potential to be a good partner but needed to work some things out?
Getting back together when your ex wants you back
If you do get back together, it needs to be a decision that enables both of you to continue evolving together. Be very clear about what you’re going back to.
There are couples who get back together and are better than ever. But before this can happen, make sure you have a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. Be sure to set new agreements so you don’t slide back into old patterns.
If your ex broke your heart more than once, it doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person. He’s just not good for you.
Be very discerning if your ex wants you back. Keep your eyes open and assess whether his intentions are good, you’ve both done the work, and he’s willing to work together towards a wonderful new relationship.
And if that’s not the case, walk away to find the man who will become your last first date!