Being in love with someone is an amazing feeling. Not only it helps you build a healthy relationship with someone, but it also makes you deeply love your partner. And deep love is the best kind of love you can give to someone because it’s pure and true.
But life is always full of surprises and there comes a time when even love can not help your healthy relationship anymore. Everything starts to feel, messy and negative.
No friends or family can help fix your romantic relationship with your partner. You have firmly decided to break up with your partner and it seems that is the only way to help both of you gain some peace of mind.
It’s very difficult to break up with someone who you love.
Breaking up with someone you love feels like putting a mountain on your chest giving you an enormous amount of pain. It’s heavy to carry such thoughts and decisions with yourself.
You never want to hurt your partner’s feelings because you love them right? You don’t want to feel hurt or consider how your partner feels about breaking up.
You tried your best to fix things but every attempt was in vain and there seems to be just no way out of this because it’s the right thing to do now.
The relationship issues just keep piling up and you feel obligated to solve all these issues but sadly, you can’t.
You both want to be happy with this decision but your thoughts about hurting the partner you loved so much when you were in a relationship won’t leave your mind.
All you want is to break up on a better note and have no guilt about this decision.
All those happy memories, smiles, and moments with your partner make it difficult for you to come to a conclusion.
But how to proceed? How to break up with your partner whom you love or loved? How to go separate ways after all your time together? How to persuade it’s for the betterment of both of you?
Respecting, caring, and having an understanding of each other will help you do that. Shaping the future for better lives. Not blaming each other or resenting who initiated the break-up but instead accepting this change and moving forward. That’s the only way.
In this article, I will help you with how to break up with someone you love in a healthy manner that will help you understand what’s going to come and also helps you with how to support each other in getting into a new relationship.
We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.
💔 Here are the 15 Honest Steps On How To Break Up With Someone you love 💔
1. Think about it
Breakups suck. There is no better way to put it. And breaking up with someone you love sucks even more. That’s why you should think about it first before coming to the decision of breaking up with your partner.
You should be aware of the reasons why you want to end your potential long-term relationship. You should think and give it more time.
What if it can be fixed? have you tried couples therapy? Have you tried to address the problems? Did you talk about it with your partner? Do you have a good enough reason to cut ties with your partner? What if the issues can be solved by just having a talk about it? Start thinking!
The more you think about it, the more clear message you will get. You have to be level-headed before breaking up with someone. It’s not something you can do on a whim right?
It’s a heartbreaking thing to do and you should be considerate and respect your partner’s feelings. Whatever the reason can be, you should remain firm with your decision and end things with your loved one. It will be a tough time for both of you but if you have given it some thought then it should work out just fine.
2. Have a plan
After thinking comes making a plan. You should plan ahead before confronting your partner and telling them the worst possible news.
It should never be done via text, emails, or any other methods where you are not physically present! That’s the worst kind of breakup.
The other person has feelings too. And you should always consider other person’s feelings because you loved them. So plan accordingly. Know what to tell. Know what your partner might want to hear for you. Rehearse your methods, talk with yourself over and over.
Don’t forget the important stuff! Tell your partner exactly how you feel and why some relationships end at some point.
How to be separated from someone you love when that one person, that one partner, that best friend was someone you loved! It’s difficult, it’s hard and it’s most definitely challenging.
So it’s never meant to be easy. That’s how lives are. All break ups suck because breaking up with someone you care deeply about still is hard.
So plan and plan again and again until you feel you can do it. Remember, the right words will reach your partner. So make sure you have a solid plan!
3. Use your words wisely
Tell your partner exactly what you want to say. Don’t give them false hope for underlying reasons that will inevitably hurt both of you in the end. Be on the same page with your partner and stay away from giving mixed signals. Use precise words and choose wisely. To break up with someone you love is a painful thing. You have to be steady and sharp during emotional situations.
Take your ample time to come up with words that will reach your partner. Make sure it’s filled with feelings and is to the point. Don’t stray away from the matter at hand and spend time practicing them as well.
4. Be committed and be ready
We know you were romantic partners first, there was love, passion, and care from both sides. But now it doesn’t seem the same way as before.
In romantic relationships, we get to understand other person’s qualities and get a hint of obvious signs of what’s going on with our partner. All it takes is just signs sometimes to figure out what someone wants to say. It can be actions or behavior, anything.
If you are constantly giving your time to fix things and it just can’t seem to work out then break up is the best option for you. Your happiness is a priority as well.
So if you have decided to go separate ways in the relationship with your partner then make sure you are committed and ready to do so.
Be clear about what you want, whether you want to stay friends, best friends, or just strangers. Don’t offer false hope, that’s only gonna hurt even more. Have a proper conversation full of emotions and deliver your point across by keeping respect in check.
5. Don’t give hope or be hopeful
Don’t give false hope. It’s plain simple. If you have a family member who has been through a breakup ask them, how they were after a break-up. Living with false hope in life is gonna eat you alive. It goes for both you and your partner.
If you are breaking up with somebody then keep mental health in your thoughts as well. Not only for you but for them as well. You don’t want your loved one to have mental health issues right? Be the kind of person who is not feeling confused and make sure your partner wants the same thing.
If your partner asks about the relationship, make sure you have proper answers for that. Respect them, give more time, talk about different relationships that go through that, have conversation after conversation about life and moving forward. Everyone deserves to be happy, and that happiness should not fade away by living with false hopes. Make sure you keep that in mind when you want to end your relationship.
6. Be thoughtful and considerate
The other person has feelings too. The other person wants to be happy as well. The other person might have a point as well. The other person needs respect from you as well.
Breaking up with your love should be done very carefully. Not because there is no other choice but that person has a heart still. And everything you say or do for the sake of separation may affect their lives. Don’t be selfish and blame that person for everything. Instead of focusing on all the wrong reasons, focus on the right ones.
Be considerate, kind, and mature about it. Don’t bring other person friends or family into this. If your partner requires more time to think about it then respect their decision. Spend time with your friends and family. Talk with them. Have a conversation about relationships with them. If there is a chance for relationship recovery then work on it.
But if break up is the only way then pain and hurt are an inevitable part of it and it will be shared with both of you. So don’t be a bad guy but remain calm, steady, and be a gentleman when it comes to serious things like breaking up with your love.
7. Don’t cut your ties entirely
Don’t just vanish entirely from the life of the person you love or loved. Breaking up with that person doesn’t mean you should just shun them forever, no. Don’t block them on social media but you can unfriend them. Don’t stalk them but respect their privacy, Don’t remove mutual friends just because of the break-up. Don’t avoid them when you see them in public. You have only broken up with that person, not created an enemy.
Be mature, don’t cut off ties entirely. Have the courage to support in any living situation. If you can remain friends, do that. It doesn’t hurt to have a talk about it. Most of the time these don’t work out but if you think you both can manage it then have a conversation about it in detail.
Don’t give up on your marriage or relationship until you’ve tried this, CHECK THIS OUT!
8. Don’t waver, just say
Getting into a relationship is a part of our lives, and all relationships are filled with emotions and compassion. There is love and all. But all good stories have an end as well. And if it seems your relationship is going to sink anyway, then don’t waver. Say!
Tell that guy how you feel and why you want to break up. Is it you? is it that person? Is mental health an issue for you? Is the relationship not going to work out for the long term?
Whatever thoughts or questions you have in mind, put them on the table. Talk about it. Dig deep and deeper. Have conversation after conversation while keeping emotions in check. Don’t lose respect and end things considering your partner’s feelings as well. If you have a good enough reason to go separate ways then go ahead. Tell. Don’t be hesitant or keep things inside. It will only make things worse.
9. Don’t be angry but be polite
Breakups suck because it makes us feel a rush of emotions that we cannot control when we first think about it. We will have mixed feelings towards the situation and would want a clear answer on what to do actually.
Now, breaking up with the person you love should never ever NEVER be done in anger. Anger will only make you feel miserable for the rest of your life. Instead, show respect, consider her feelings and give more time and plan ahead and be ready for how that person will react when you will break the news to them. Be polite even if the other person is angry. Be kind, be calm and go through this tough time patiently.
Believe me, it will be good for both of you. Nothing good ever comes from being angry. Anger will hide your good qualities and show only a bad side of you. You were in love with that person, right? Then never be angry about it. Don’t shout, yell, call names or play the blame game. Don’t hurt her more than her living situation that is about to come.
10. Focus on healthy relationship
You might want to stay friends even after a break-up and that’s what most couples do nowadays. Relationships go through many phases and if you want to stay friends then make sure you have the healthiest relationship with that person. The reason being, you don’t want to live with drama or fear of getting back together right? You don’t want, you or her to NOT get in a new relationship. You don’t want to stop progress but still remain friends, right? You want to support, right?
Make sure you both are on the same page and remain firm with your decision. You both should feel the same way about this. Take your ample time and start thinking about what the other person’s feelings are. It all comes down to your and feelings of the other guy and you should never settle for all the wrong reasons, but the right ones. Happiness should be a goal for both of you and your relationship after a breakup will help you achieve that.
Stay friends if you want, stay friends forever if you can. You once loved your partner and they still being a part of your life might help you later in your life as well. Instead of a toxic relationship, healthier is more good.
11. Be a listener
We know that all breakups suck. And most of the time we don’t want to listen to our partner because we think it’s always their fault. You get mixed signals about how to proceed and what is the right way to do it. You don’t want to be constantly giving your energy, time, and thoughts about this topic because the more you talk about it, the more it will hurt.
When you love someone you give them all the attention in the world. You give them care, love, affection, priority, and all of yourself. You lend your ear whenever there are problems, you give your heart when your partner needs it, and you give everything just to find that happiness in them.
That’s why shattering the relationship with someone you love is heart wrenching, hard, and difficult. But it doesn’t mean you should stop listening to what your lover has to say. Even when you don’t love them anymore, be a listener. Listen to what they have to say. And listen carefully. Have a conversation that resolves this matter peacefully.
Listen to their problems, their way of seeing this break-up, their understandings of the situation. It will help you, a lot!
12. Be supportive and appreciative
Just because you are breaking up with your love doesn’t mean you have to be a douche now. Don’t be a sore loser and turn into a guy who damages someone’s mental health. Instead of creating more relationship issues, try to fix them. And fix them being a kinda guy. It’s not only hard for you, but it’s also for them too.
When you tell the news, calm them, listen to them, hold them one last time to tell them ” Hey, everything’s going to be okay” or “It’s all going to work out for the best”. Kindness goes a long way in life and showing that will make this break up easy for both of you. No matter how much you care deeply when it’s time to let go. Let it go in a positive fashion. Not negative.
Share some happy moments that you shared together, talk about memories and tell them how great they are, how amazing they are, and how lovely they are. Show them they will be happy by being patient. Show them they are lovable and give them positive thoughts to think about. That way, you will be remembered with a smile instead of a frown on their face.
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13. Be ready for the pain
How to break up with someone you love and not have any pain? I know, that question must have been searched quite a lot on the internet. There is no way to fix the pain. There is no avoiding. The hurt, it will come. It will be heavy. It will be painful and it will bring out feelings that never were present before.
Accept that and make your partner accept it too. It’s the worst kind of pain to ever experience. No conversation or talk can fix the pain for you. The only thing you can do in a breakup is just to understand and be ready for what’s to come.
Don’t sugarcoat your words by saying “It won’t be painful”. Because that’s a lie. You and your love have to be emotionally ready to break up with someone. The more ready you are, the less pain you will feel. The pain may sting for a while but it will pass.
14. Do it in a sober state and appropriate place
Don’t ever break up while drunk! This is one of the many reasons people say breakups suck. You don’t want to break up with somebody you love while drunk. That’s just, low. You have to be sober when you deliver such shocking news. You have to do it the right way. Breaking up and getting drunk are two wrongs, and two wrongs never make a right!
Choose an appropriate place, proper settings, be sober, and have something meaningful to say when you deliver such heartbreaking news to your loved one.
Place and your state are very important during a break-up. You don’t want to have an even worst memory now, do you?
15. It’s time to let go
The last step is to finally let go. Let go of everything. Your love, pain, feelings, bad and sad thoughts, just, let it go. The sooner you understand it, the better. And tell your love the same. To let it go. Tell them letting go is going to make you feel hurt, but just for some time. Tell them we tried to fix our relationship, we tried to find some relationship recovery, we tried to seek help from a family member or friends but all was just not going to stop this break-up.
While it is an inevitable part of a break-up, to let go. Still leave some room for happy memories. You were romantic partners before, so keep that within yourself. Carry it with yourself while remaining friends with them. When you deeply love someone, you want the best for them, even if you ever decide to break up with them.
Relationships are hard and are never meant to be easy to maintain. That’s why let it go. Both of you, let it go. That’s the only way to have a clean and clear break-up.
🔦 Signs when a relationship is over 🔦
⚙️ You feel lonely even when you are together with them.
⚙️ Their flaws are more noticeable than their qualities.
⚙️ There is no time for romance, conversations, or love.
⚙️ You don’t have conversations about your goals, dreams, and future anymore.
⚙️ Your relationship is full of boredom and you are lazy.
⚜️ Valid Reasons To Break Up With Someone ⚜️
➽ You don’t feel yourself anymore
– You feel detached from yourself. You think there is somebody else inside you and your significant other is the reason who makes you feel this way.
➽ The fights won’t stop!
– There are fights all the time! Unreasonable conversations and no understandings of each other. The relationship has only anger in it, unfortunately.
➽ The relationship is harmful
– Relationship issues keep piling up no matter what you do. It’s damaging you emotionally, physically, and mentally. Your health is deteriorating gradually.
➽ The relationship is not “We” anymore
– It seems only one guy is actually trying to glue together the broken pieces of the relationship. The other person doesn’t seem to care about your efforts or show some by themselves.
➽ Happiness is nowhere
– Happiness is gone from your life and your relationship seems to be getting sadder and sadder with the passage of time. You both are gloomy and depressed in your relationship.
➽ Family and friends are unsupportive
When even your family and friends don’t bother about your relationship anymore, it’s a valid reason to let go of someone you love.
➽ Conflicts after conflicts
– When there are more misunderstandings in a relationship, it’s time to stop and evaluate things. And when you find yourself not agreeing with almost everything with your love, it’s time to leave!
🏳️⚧️ Consider these reasons for ending a relationship
🏳 If somebody is cheating on you.
🏳 If someone breaks your heart, deliberately.
🏳 If someone doesn’t care about your happiness anymore.
🏳 If your happiness is fading away.
🏳 If the other person is making you feel miserable and bad about yourself.
🏳 If you or the other guy is not emotionally stable.
🏳 If the reasons to go are more than staying.
🏆 Signs You Shouldn’t Break Up, Even If Things Seem Really Bad 🏆
🔸 Your love is still growing and you feel you found your soulmate.
🔸 You are grateful to each other, still.
🔸 You celebrate each other with big smiles.
🔸 Your communication is intact and still stable.
🔸 You accept each other changes.
🔸 You enjoy each other’s company.
🔸 You are empathetic to each other.
☸️ Signs of an unhealthy relationship ☸️
🔹There is no communication.
🔹 Every day the toxicity in relationships is increasing.
🔹 You feel emotionally detached from your lover.
🔹There are almost no happy moments in your life.
🔹 You both feel angry towards each other even for the smallest things.
🔹 There might be physical abuse in the relationship.
🔰 Steps to leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist 🔰
◼️ Don’t give them another chance to get back to you.
◼️ Don’t believe in their empty compliments and mind games.
◼️ Get back together with your family.
◼️ When you get out of that relationship, stay out!
◼️ Don’t be hesitant to reach out for help from the police. Report everything!
◼️ Don’t believe in their tears or acts. It’s only to fool you!
◼️ Remove their gifts or things associated with them. Throw everything out.
◼️ Ignore if they try to communicate with you in any way.
◼️ Let it go, forever.
🚷 What is a toxic relationship? 🚷
A toxic relationship is a kind of relationship where you are involved with a partner who is toxic towards you mainly because of his behavior. It can be physical abuse, playing mind games, calling you names, and not having any respect for you. Not caring about your needs and always blaming you for everything.
Toxic relationships places fear inside you and make you feel like the worst person to ever exist. You not only question yourself but you become mentally unstable because of constant toxicity coming from your partner. Toxic relationships are filled with anger, resentment and only bring chaos into your life.
It makes you feel guilty and happiness is nowhere to be found.
🧿 Can you break up with someone if you love them?
Yes, you can. The answer might make it look easy but it’s clearly not that. There can be many reasons for a breakup to happen even when you are in love with someone. It’s hard, but you can. It’s un bearing but can be done. It’s painful but right.
The love might not leave your life, but only the person might be not in front of your eyes. That is the only logical reason to explain whether you can break up with someone if you love them.
You matter as well. You deserve happiness and so does your loving soulmate. If you truly love someone, you will do anything to keep them happy for the rest of their lives. And if separation brings happiness, then be it. Look forward and plan a future. If you love them, let them go. For the sake of resentment-free life.
🤓 Conclusion 🤓
To be in a relationship with someone you love is honestly the best feeling in the world. You care deeply about them and enjoy their good qualities.
You respect them and start thinking about the future. And during that time anything can happen and by anything, I mean making relationship sour kind of thing.
We as humans are prone to such fates. Our destinies play games with us and let us go through things we don’t want.
And that’s why your best friend might not be your best friend anymore. And when that happens, your mind will be filled only with thoughts of breaking up.
Breaking your relationship with someone you love is not easy. There are many facts involved in it and that’s what we have read up till now.
If you didn’t know how to break up with someone you love, now you know how to deal with such a situation. You have to break up on a good note, keeping respect for both of you, having a solid plan, a healthy mind, and a clean heart. That’s the only right way to let go of someone you truly love.
In the end, both of your happiness matter. And that should always be your No.1 Priority.
🤔 Relevant Questions 🤔
Q: When should you let go of a relationship?
A: You are not happy anymore. Your relationship is getting more toxic every day. There can be many underlying reasons for the relationship issues. And if you can’t fix any of them, you should let go of the relationship.
Q: How do you know if a relationship is worth saving?
A: When there is an effort from both sides. When you know it can be fixed by having a simple conversation, by addressing the problems, and actually going to couples therapy. If there is an effort, there is a chance to save it. Spend time thinking about solutions and you will find one clear answer.
Q: What is the 3-month rule after the breakup?
A: It’s a rule that has been placed by society itself. It basically means to not date anyone who is involved in a relationship and break up. It’s a post-break-up rule to give some time to both people to have some space, freedom, recollect thoughts and become emotionally stable to move forward towards a future.
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Author: Ruth Jesse
Ruth is a life coach who specialises in relationships and career development. Outside work, she loves writing novels and guides for personal development.